They live on Planet Bork
Part One
Watching TV in my recliner, midday on a Wednesday, I struggled to keep my eyes open. It had been a cool cloudy day, and the furrorists at my feet had finally laid down to rest. The TV was monotonously advising me about car insurance options, and I could just barely make out the furry triangles of ears as I slipped into the embrace of a nap.
***
I awoke to a strange light show. A quiet hum and strange patterns of shifting colors filled the room. The white monster at my feet made small noises and I reached down to try and offer comfort. “It’s alright Ranger,” I cooed. I felt around, desperately hoping to continue my nap and ease the discomfort of my startled dog. “I’m here. It’s just the trash truck.” Though as I said it, I became more awake and knew that was wrong. The trash truck did not have blue headlights, or green. Or pink. Eyes open now, I scanned the room and began to slide off the recliner toward Ranger. He was crouched low near the ottoman, prepared to both defend me and cower all at once. I rested my head on top of his and closed my eyes, thinking my job had finally gotten to me and I was now experiencing a drug induced earthquake. All at once, the floor felt as though it was dissolving beneath us. I felt Ranger’s caller slip off beneath the arms I had clutched around his neck. I held on tighter. He grumbled under such an intense embrace, but I did not loosen my grip for fear I would find myself in a world without him. Eyes squeezed shut, I could only sense the humming getting louder as the ground felt farther and farther away. I saw the room as it would appear: dog collar on the floor, an open bag of jalapeño tortilla chips on the coffee table, and my phone lying on the couch. The words “gone without a trace” and “suspicious disappearance” would now be applied to me, at least until whatever I ingested cycled through. My heart nearly beat out of my chest as I experienced what must have been the passing of my solid form through the solid walls that once had been my apartment. Terrified, I passed out.